9/17

Today in class we did the following:
1. Reviewed 8-12
2. Commentary Practice: Introductions


Homework:
1. Read 13-15
2. Journal

JOURNAL PROMPT:
Review the following example commentary (from IB) and then evaluate it. I know you haven't done the reading of the passage it discusses but think about:
A) The Introductory paragraph
B) The author's organization
C) The author's use of text
D) The author's analysis of the text

The first two words of the extract (“At last”) suggest a long, possibly difficult

journey to the place where the protagonist –our narrator- now stood. The author uses a

first-person narration with good effect; it allows the reader to feel as though the narrator

is speaking directly to them. The constant use of the word “I” allows the reader to

empathize with the narrator directly. And the narrator even addresses the reader

personally saying, “It wasn’t the dark I was afraid of, you understand.” Again, the used of

the contraction “wasn’t” adds to the colloquial, personal and informal feel of the

narration and shortens the distance between the narrator and the reader. It is as though the

narrator was a friend relating his past experience to us.

There is very vivid and detailed descriptive language used in this extract. The

imagery employed and details revealed add to the creation of a foreboding and

mysterious mood and setting. The first two sentences of the extract reveal the location of

the narrator, at the “crossroads” where he has “to turn left under the beach trees.” It is

night, as he expects to see “lights” from “Ransom’s windows” or it might be very late

“past blackout time.” The reader gets the idea that the narrator is on a journey to travel

near his character Ransom’s house. The first question that comes to mind is why is the

narrator traveling at night? Surely there is a reason for his secretive behavior. This adds

to the tension and mystery in this text. The very name of the character the neighbor is to

visit “Ransom” is sinister as the word has connotations that are unpleasant. “Ransom” is

linked to kidnapping, fear, bondage, power and threat to life and this is a negative word.

The narrator’s “watch had stopped” and this he cannot tell the time. This detail makes the

reader feel that the narrator is even more without control in this situation. That narrator is

practically helpless and has no power over what could happen at any moment. The

uncertainty of the narrator with regards to the constant questioning and surmising such as

in “or was it past blackout time?” and “It was dark enough but that might be due to the

fog and trees.” Adds to the foreboding and sinister atmosphere of this text.

There is a running theme of darkness and fear of insanity that is seen throughout

the extract. As we shall see later, this builds up the characterization of the narrator as well

as raises the level of tension and excitement in the extract. The reader is invited to

sympathize with the narrator as he says “ We have all known times when inanimate

objects seemed to have almost a facial expression,” this can be classified as an indirect

used of personification as the trees and road seem to be showing an unpleasant

expression. The author then employs the use of dialogue to show the thought of the

narrator, with an interesting use of a double-negative in the sentence. This adds to the

ambiguity of meaning and amplifies the theme of insanity and the fear of insanity as we,

the readers, as confused by what the narrator means. We now have some doubts of the

clarity of his mind too. “It’s not time […] that people who are really going mad never

think they’re going mad”? This doubt is thus raised in the reader’s minds.

The next sentence is a question that builds onto the effect of the double-negative

sentence, suggesting “real insanity” might start in the place where the narrator was. The

description of the beach trees is striking as the word “black” wed in “the black enmity of

the dripping trees” has a double meaning. “Black” refers to the darkness that physically

enshrouds the area and also could refer to an evil, malicious motive. This “black enmity”

suggests an external feud against the narrator and emphasizes the powerlessness he has,

with restricted vision due to darkness and fog and the large number of uncertainties he is

grappling with in his mind. He even questions his own sanity! This imagery is made even

more effective by the description of “the dripping trees” which describe how the branches

and leaves of the beech tree hang slightly limply in the darkness, but also suggest a

wetness and coldness as there might be some dew or rain droplets dripping from the

leaves. Or perhaps an even more sinister association can be drawn to dripping blood that

is suggested in a gentle, indirect way. The additional repletion of the words “terror” and

“horrible” add to the effect of fear and suspense. The use of words like “hallucination,”

“illusion,” and the ghostlike “spectre” add to the theme of “the further terror of madness

itself.” The reader then questions to what extent is the “horrible expectancy” and

“horrible [surmises]” real? Is the narrator imagining these things or are they truly taking

place? C.S Lewis has thus far been very effective at leading the reader to think of these

questions. The rambling nature of the narration and the very long last sentence from line9

to 12 enhances the uncertainty and theme of insanity and fear so far.

It may well be that the narrator is not going insane, but rather that this rambling

and lack of coherence is due to his “state of mind” and the fear of darkness that abounds.

It would be natural to be afraid when walking alone on a foreign path in a dark forest.

The author employs short sentences at the start of the next paragraph- “Surely it was the

cottage. It was very well blacked-out,” stating in a matter-of-fact way the observations of

the narrator. This is followed by two longer sentences about the “childish whining

thought[s]” that “arose on [his] mind.” The repetition of “Perhaps he…” in the following

three sentences with various possibilities of what might happen serves to make the

character of Ransom seem more ghoulish and terrifying, and the narrator seem more

youthful, small, and insecure. The narrator lacks the confidence and rationality normally

associated with someone who is a mature adult, and thus coupled with the use of the

words “childish” and “whining” suggest that he is actually rather youthful, perhaps in his

teens. The ending of the paragraph with the use of ellipsis (‘…’) is effective as it leaves

the reader to imagine what the ‘face that was not human at all…’ looked like. This is a

very visual use of language that is very cinematic in nature.

possibilities for plot development.